Giving Thanks…Moving Forward and Letting Go

Thanksgiving, not just for eating yourself silly with Turkey and the fixings, not for just watching the game (although, I know some of you beg to differ) and not for those snoozes after being so full you swear your belly is about to burst, nah you just very flatulent. Anywho, this Thanksgiving I had a quiet and uneventful day, and it was one of good food yet relaxed and I got my much needed rest, I watched “Friends” marathon then onto “Modern Family” and wish I had a friend like Gloria in my life. I was pondering what I was going to write about this week and what kept coming back to me in light of recent events in Ferguson and then the further unfortunate event in Cleveland with regards to the shooting of the 12 year old boy I thought we should be “Thankful” for the humanity of many that have shown empathy and compassion for what is going on in the world today. I’m “Thankful” for the power of prayer and faith in something more powerful than me or any man or woman. I’m “Thankful” for coming to the conclusion that everyone doesn’t have to agree with my personal opinions, thoughts or actions nor do I have to agree with theirs. I’m “Thankful” I have been forgiven over and over again by my children, my loved ones and friends (well, my true friends) because although it is…difficult to do at times, it is possible to come out on the other side of a “harmful” act and move forward with forgiveness and love, and gratitude that the person has shown regret and apologized. It took me years to learn how to do that…Apologize, but once I did to those I either harmed intentionally or not…It was a gift when I did so not only for them but for me, a weight lifted off of my shoulders, so whether they clearly forgave me or not I did the right thing, that feels good to do the right thing. I pondered the “ending” of some long held relationships I once cherished and I have been grieving those relationships for awhile but after many prayers, tears, anger, and finally some words of advice and encouragement from my own children I am ready to allow those relationships go and remember “only” the good that we shared in the past and know as my daughter says “some relationships have expiration dates” or otherwise are only meant to be for that specific time period. I get it, don’t like it, but I accept it now. I pray for peace with them and theirs and for my own self and my feelings about the circumstances that led us to this point. You cannot change others opinions of you but you can keep striving to be better. Being Better and Learning something new daily is my goal with the rest of my life. I know God didn’t allow me to just keep living the way I was before Cancer, nonchalant and not a care in the world. Until something rocks your world (and not the Michael Jackson song) you are self-centered and tend to forget who runs things..hint..God. I choose to follow his lead, I don’t where I’m going exactly but I sure pray it’s a road of helping and doing what’s right, be a blessing in whatever capacity I can. As a disabled veteran I want to help more vets, I want to speak to more groups and audiences about my surviving and living with advanced breast cancer, I want to be a beacon of hope, resources and a friend/helper if needed. I don’t have a whole lot, but I have a need to “do” and a big heart. I pray that you’ll move forward too in whatever your path and faith takes you, believe…hope…dream…pray. Love Kim…see ya next week.  ***Oh, by the way my theme song for today is “Brenda Russell – A Little Bit of Love.